This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
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