This dress was meant to end up on your floor
Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
I bought a box of wine on my way home. I figured if I’m going to be broke during the holidays, I might as well be able to drink about it.
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
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