I felt like helen keller
But she could have totally found that shit before me
That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
I am compiling a playlist that reminds me of all my best sexual encounters. It shall be called THE MUSIC OF MY VAGINA'S PEOPLE
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
So I'll bring my machete and we can smoke your shit.
Out of context, that is a hilariously scary message.
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
Randomize
