If i come over, it means nothing
matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
Tonight's Jeopardy categories were "Star Trek, Action Figures, Dinner For One, In Need of a Date, Still Living With Mom & Dad, You Have No Life." Beginning to think my life is the Truman Show.
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
I told you that you couldn’t eat fifty tacos, you slapped me in the face, ate seventeen tacos, and fell asleep on my floor
Randomize
