no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
Duck Duck Cougar?
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
What drink are we having for lunch?
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
The cop asked me why my pants were around my knees when he woke me from the sink, i replied "Officer, my underwear is still on, nothing bad happened" then he nodded in acknowledgement and we carried on with the paper work.
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
Randomize
