Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
Just so you know, a true one night stands ends with a 7 minute blow job after eating a sandwich she made for you while the taxi you called for her comes
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
Randomize
