After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
Need toilet paper. Napkins suck. Slowly running out of those two and the bleeding hasn't stopped. Your cat is next
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
the room spins SO much faster in panama
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
I just made my roommate a 'Hope you don't have chlamydia' cake.
Make one for john too.
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
Randomize
