am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
Explain it like you would if you were talking to a 5 yo
Wait no, like you would to a stoned high school freshman.
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
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