are you so shy because you have an std?
She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
Randomize
