he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
Dear sober self: your car keys are in the glove compartment, your car is outside the church. I hope you're reading this from your own bed instead of someone else's.
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
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