she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
Does it bother you that I left your underwear hanging in a tree at the zoo? i think the turtles are enjoying it.
Apparently married women at the office don't like getting congratulated on getting "knocked up"
This show inspires me to have sex in space
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
If you're still awake, how rude would it be if I masturbated in her new apartment on moving day? If you're asleep, then ask me how it was.
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
He broke up with his gf yesterday so he could give me our annual Christmas sex at midnight.
Marry him. Now.
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
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