we have officially lost it.
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now
Randomize
