Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
I need to start journaling my drunk thoughts. Drunk me is fucking brilliant & sober me is missing out.
I just puked in a chili’s bathroom... happy birthday to me
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
Randomize
