You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
BRING THE BAGELS
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
Just puked most of my soul out..
I'm literally trying to cool beer down right now in my car by putting it on my floor and blasting cold air on it
Randomize
