He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
So I went into my gym pretty wasted and asked the trainer guy if i could order a cock meat sandwich. Needless to say, I'm canceling my membership tomorrow.
I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
Listen this is important.. if I die tonight you have to be the drug dealer at my funeral
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
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