I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
Your drunken mistake is coming over to see if she wants to buy any of our furniture. I know youre desperate, but try not to fuck her, without a condom, for a fourth time, while shes there.
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
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