The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
The bartender let me pay my bar tab with my itunes giftcards.
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
Randomize
