I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
i'd be lying to you if i said i didn't just bring up microsoft excel to make an alcohol budget
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
Randomize
