I have a fruit stripe tattoo on my penis. You're the only person I know who chews that gum.
You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
Did you send me a snapchat of your sister triple kissing two other girls?!!! You might be the greatest friend the world ever made
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
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