Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
so im decorating easter eggs with my family and my mom is writing "Jesus is risen" and "God loves you!" on the eggs. i wrote things like "I'm naked!" and "there are drugs in these eggs!" on mine.
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
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