what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Figured out how to triple bathroom speed at #lollapalooza.. Girl squats, guy 1 goes between her, guy 2 uses urinal. Your welcome.
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
Randomize