I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
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