Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
