I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
He yelled "CARLI LLOYD" and then kicked the cake off the table. Soccer is making monsters out of us.
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
Randomize
