can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
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