I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
I accidentally sent him a snapchat of my boobs and now we're going on a date tomorrow... Could be worse.
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
Randomize
