It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
Randomize
