i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
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