My hand turned me down
i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
It's 1pm, she's in the shower, I don't have the guts tell her I wasn't her blind date. Someone got stood up.
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
Randomize
