the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
Things found in my vomit last night: cell phone, Von Hayes rookie card, a boot, my dignity
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
The number of threesomes I have agreed to seems to increase every time I talk to you drunk...
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
Randomize
