made out with the bouncer to distract him from how illegitimate my fake id is.
okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
I need to start journaling my drunk thoughts. Drunk me is fucking brilliant & sober me is missing out.
I just met his mom for the first time with a hang over. Then we went to watch his 8 year old cousin get baptized. Apparently his family loves me. I should drink more often.
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
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