FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
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