the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
He goes "hi, free today?" WHEN AM I EVER FREE ON A SATURDAY, I GOT HUNGOVER TO BE AND DRUNK TO GET.
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
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