I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
my mom just poured a water bottle of wine to take my dog on a walk...
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
I've never used poorer judgment in my life. It's mathematically possible that I impregnated 5 women in the past 24 hours since I won the lottery. But I couldn't be happier about it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
I'm in the line at Chipotle thinking: "What combo will best prepare my body for the open bar I'm going to subject it to tonight?"
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
i believe in u and ur pee
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
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