i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
The only thing worse than cracking my rib on a slip and slide was having the doctors laugh when they found out in my medical history that I did this exact same thing last summer.
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
Randomize
