she sounds like chewbacca in bed
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
Bang-toberfest begins!!
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
I just thought I should tell you that I always know what you are doing. Everywhere. Every time. -Your loving Mother
Randomize
