If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
What happened last night?
You soiled yourself again and told everybody that you'd given birth.
you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
Randomize
