I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
I'm concerned I may die tonight. All I've been told about my bday shenanigans is to bring slutty clothes, a bikini, tylenol, sunglasses and pjs. Tell me what the fuck is going on...now
bring lube too
i hate all of you
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
Randomize
