maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
Trial is expected to last a fucking week if I get chosen.
To be fair, you are the kind of person I want to be on the jury when I inevitably end up in front of one.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
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