Let's just say there is a bloody hand print above my bed and it's not mine. Literally.
We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
You know its bad when you're praying for a hangover just so you aren't still drunk at work anymore.
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
Randomize
