they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
Just woke up next to a girl with 30 hot dogs in my bed. Vodka you win again.
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
How high are you rn
Well I just ate a cheesecake straight from the box with a fork and now I’m laying upside down in a recliner chair seeing if I can Uber eats Doritos
So not that high
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