I will die if light touches me.
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
Woke up to a bottle of gatorade and a packet of saltine crackers tied to underwear hanging from my ceiling fan, along with 3 advil stuck to a piece of duct tape and a note saying "have a happy hangover- <3 you/me"
Drunk you is pretty stunner.
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
Randomize