is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
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