Fine. I'll sleep in my office
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
I told you when I started the only reason I was gonna coach your kids soccer team was that I could meet all the hot soccer moms. So why are you so mad I slept with your ex?
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
Dude. I’m playing chess through iMessage with a stripper. What has my life become.
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
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