yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
Listening to Whitney Houston sing the National Anthem while I shit before going out tonight. America.
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
Randomize
