when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
Why am I drunk on a roof painting at 11 in the morning
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
Btw I puked in your glovebox
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