that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
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