I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
You know we have no secrets, right? I mean, you saw me shitting in a gift bag drunk and naked on Christmas eve.
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
I see more hoeing in ur future
Randomize
