Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
It was confusing and full of hummus
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
My ex is stopping by while he’s working tonight after delivering a pizza to fuck me, then going back to work at Pizza Hut. This is what my life has become.
Randomize
