sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
Left my ID again and at a Giant's game. This is the second time they accepted my handgun safety certificate as proof of ID to buy beer.
playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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