Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
I found your pet lobster in the bathroom this morning. I went to return it to you but it escaped.
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
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