I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
Always keep a stash of tequila in your work desk. That is like adulting 101.
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
All I want is dick and wine.
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
I think the night went to shit after he started sweating and crying about a taco he dropped on the ground 3 years ago. No more blind dates
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