McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
Look, all I'm saying is that you're going to be a great Vodka Mom.
Drunk me left sober me a shower beer in expectation of Hurricane Harvey. Drunk me is the best.
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
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