HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
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