How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my credit card is covered in vodka and bad memories
he actually said the words "do you want to pet the lizard?" with a straight face as he unzipped his pants
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
I'm drunk in a field. the chupacobra is going to eat me. if I die serve vodka at my funeral.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
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