you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
Randomize
