I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
Randomize
