Screwed.edu
You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
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