What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
How have I seen you throw up on yourself 3 different times, yet we weren't Facebook friends until I accidentally hooked up with your ex?
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
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