do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
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