Wow.. I was doing a mental check of my bank balance & I literally just said to myself: 'I have 27 dollars and a bottle of tequila til tuesday-ill be fine'
dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
Randomize
