he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
Question: why is there a dildo glued to my kitchen table?
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
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