sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
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