Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
I'm not sure why, but my salad smells like a Big Mac. Or maybe that's just the smell of yesterday's, seeping through my skin.
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
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