I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
I have got to stop singing on voicemails. I just left my dad a 6 minute musical message.
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
You were laying next to me in bed at 4:30 a.m. I asked if you were drunk and you said you weren't drunk you were buzzed like a bumblebee. Then kept rambling on about having to call out of work.
Randomize
