I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Omg you had literally better be on fire, drowning, and being crucified all at the same time to be calling me at 7:30 in the goddamn morning.
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
"I gave a guy a handjob last night, on a dog bed, inside a fireplace. It's going to be a good year."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
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